SuperWhoLock Crack
by Trust Gavroche
Summary: Dean and I argue over Castiel, I accidentally annoy Sam, the Doctor and Rose are just cute, John is JAWN, and Sherlock is done with it all. Pure crack. [Pairings: Destiel, Tenpetals, Johnlock] [Mild spoilers up to 4.22 of SPN.]


Dean: No shit, Sherlock.

Sherlock: Rude.

John: Let it go, Sherlock.

Me: *starts singing* LET IT GO, LET IT GOOOOO

Sam: *unamoosed*

Me: Aww, Sammy the Moose is back!

Sherlock: That's it, I'm done. *grabs scarf* Come on, John.

Me: That rhymed.

*TARDIS engines whooshing*

Ten: *steps out of TARDIS, followed by Rose* Well, hello!

Me: *swoons*

Rose: *whispers to the Doctor* What are we doing here?

Ten: No idea! *peers at Sherlock, who has his hand on the doorknob and is making suggestive faces at John* Wait. Are you-

Sherlock: Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Yes.

John: *suppresses a smile*

Ten: Ah! Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Holmes. *offers hands, bouncing on feet slightly*

Sherlock: *looks massively uncomfortable but shakes it*

Ten: *to John* And you are…?

JAWN: Doctor John H. Watson.

Ten: Right! Nice to meet you too. Oh, sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I'm the Doctor!

JAWN: *looks confused*

Rose: Um.

JAWN: Well, this is awkward.

Me: *still fangirling over everyone* *realizes* Wait. Where's Cas?

Dean: *glares* That's Castiel to you.

Me: *glares* He's my baby too.

Dean: NO HE'S NOT CASTIEL IS MINE. And don't you dare insult the Impala.

Me: *sighs* Fine. I can call him Cassy.

Dean: He is an angel, not a sissy.

Me: Urgh. You are impossible.

*Castiel appears in a rustle of angel wings*

Dean: Cas! *jumps into his arms*

Castiel: *surprised but happy* Uh….hello, Dean!

JAWN: *motions to Sherlock to sit down*

Sherlock: *not understanding body language*

JAWN: Sherlock. Sit down. We're not leaving yet.

Sherlock: But John, we could go back to 221B and h-

JAWN: Yes, yes, that's enough. Later, okay? These people are interesting. Maybe there's a case here.

Sherlock: You're just saying that to keep me here.

JAWN: Guilty. But please stay?

Sherlock: *huffs* Fine. But you owe me.

JAWN: *absentmindedly* Sure.

Sam: *looking forlorn*

Me: WASSUP MOOSE?

Sam: *glares*

Me: Sorry. *wilts* Do you need anything?

Sam: Uh...aspirin? *rubs forehead*

Me: Sure. *magically pulls some out of pocket and hands it to him*

Sam: *takes it warily, grateful* Thanks.

Rose: So, Doctor...how 'boot ya teech meh suma' zat Scootish acceeent?

Ten: *winces* Uh, that was a cross between 18th century French and really, really, really bad Scottish. Terrorist-pretending-to-be-Scottish bad.

Rose: Exactly. So why don't you teach me?

Ten: *sighs* Later.

Rose: Oh, okay.

JAWN: So, uh...why are we all here?

Sherlock: The one who seems to know everyone but is closely acquainted to no one has somehow brought us here, either by continual subconscious suggestions, kidnapping and a very powerful drug, brute force, a mechanism de-

JAWN: That's enough. What was that first one again? *glances at me*

Sherlock: *points to me*

Me: Guilty as charged, sorry.

Sherlock: But why? There is no motive.

Me: Yeah huh. I'm bored.

Sherlock: Oh, I've been there. Understood.

JAWN: *rolls eyes, nods* Oh yeah. He's been there.

Ten: But WHY? We could be in...Barcelona right now! The planet, not the country. Or city. Whatever it is in current times.

Rose: *smiles at him* Ooh, Barcelona.

Ten: They have fish cobbler. Ooh, and all these flavors of ice cream- they're delicious, you'll have to try them all. My treat.

Rose: Ice cream, yum. What's the weather like?

Ten: It resembles the current Barcelon...ian weather, I suppose. Haven't been there in a while. It's beautiful, though. Absolutely beautiful. You'll love it. *smiles at Rose*

Me: *coughs* Aww, you guys are so sweet together. I'm in Language Arts, supposed to be writing an essay.

Sherlock: So...we're not actually here?

Me: No, I guess not.

Castiel: You could have said something earlier. Dean and I have work to do.

Me: *raises eyebrow* Oh? "Work"?  
>Castiel: No, that's just what we say when we're in front of people. We actually-<p>

Dean: *voice stern* Cas, they really don't need to know that.

Castiel: *apologetic* Sorry Dean.

Me: Well, since we're here together, I have some questions. Moose is up first. *to Sam* Do you ever still think about Ruby?

Jared: GENEVIEVE IS MINE.

Me: Woah, hi Jared I love you, but Sam…

Jared: Right, sorry.

Me: So…

Sam: Uh, yeah, sometimes. About how stupid I was to trust her.

Ruby: *yelling up from the depths of Hell/Purgatory, voice echoing* I AM AWESOME!

Sam: *grimances* Yeah.

Me: Cool, thanks. Next question. Dean, when did you and Cas start dating?

Dean: We're not-

Me: He is sitting on your lap.

Dean: *sighs* A couple weeks after the Apocalypse started.

Me: Figured. Cute! Next question. Castiel, if you could have a pet, what would it be?

Castiel: Dean is my pet.

Dean: *turns red*

Me: An animal, Cas.

Castiel: Dean is an animal. Have you s-

Me: LIKE A DOG OR SOMETHING, CAS.

Castiel: Oh, a literal animal. A...guinea pig.

Sam: *snickers*

Me: Thank you. Next question. Doctor, are you madly in love with Rose?

Ten: *opens mouth, about to speak*

Me: Don't lie.

Ten: Yes.

Me: And Rose Tyler? Are you madly in love with the Doctor?

Rose: *blushes* Yes.

Me: *starts sobbing* IT'S LIKE YOU JUST GOT MARRIED BUT YOU SAID YES INSTEAD OF "I DO."

Ten: Uh...are you okay?

Me: *sniffles* You'll see. Series 2 finale. Doomsday.

Rose: Okay…

Me: *wipes eyes* Okay, uh...John. Is it true that your spirit animal is a hedgehog?

JAWN: *does his annoyed-at-sherlock look*

Sherlock: John, she asked you a question.

JAWN: Right, yeah. Erm... *scrunches up face* I...have been told that I bear a...close resemblance to one. By a, uh, very reliable source.

Sherlock: *smiles*

Me: Aww. I know what I'm getting you for your birthday!

JAWN: *sighs*

Me: Final question. Sherlock, would you kill for John?

Sherlock: *quickly* Yes.

Me: Would you sacrifice yourself to save John?

Sherlock: *doesn't hesitate* Yes.

Me: Does John resemble a hedgehog?

Sherlock: Yes.

JAWN: Sherlock!

Me: Do you love John?

Sherlock: Yes.

Me: *smiles* Okay, I'm done with the questions. Uh...guess you guys are free to go.

Ten: Oh, good. *looks around, bounces up and down on the balls of his feet* Nice meeting you all! *smiles* Off we go then, Rose!

Rose: *takes his hand and they step into the Tardis*

*TARDIS engines whooshing*

Sherlock: I think that's our cue, John.

JAWN: Fine. Nice to meet you! *shakes my hand*

*Sherlock does up his scarf and they leave*

Me: Sam, Dean, Cas. What have you been up to lately?

Dean: Oh, you know...saving people-

Sam: And by that he means the world.

Dean: -hunting things, the family business.

Me: Aww. Your dad would be proud.

Dean: How would you know about our dad?

Me: *considers for a moment* You know how Chuck wrote those books?

Dean: Oh. *looks mentally scarred for a minute*

Sam: Yeah, we should probably get going to. *moves the curtains aside to peer out the window* Uh...Where are we, anyway?

Me: No idea! London, probably. *shrugs*

Castiel: I can teleport you two back to the bunker.

Dean: Sure, that'd be great, babe.

Sam: *shoots him a weird look*

Castiel: *places his fingers on their foreheads* Goodbye.

*Sam, Dean, and Cas all disappear*

Me: On my own...pretending they're beside me...


End file.
